We spent a week relaxing in Italy which was just what I needed. I have a bit of a holiday comedown now that i'm back in a very wet and dull Scotland. The beaches were amazing! I found that if i try and float in the sea I slowly flip over onto my face due to the whole one lung thing :) I also seen a guy on the beach with a thoracotomy scar, if he hadn't been Russian i'd love to have picked his brain about healing time.. as i'm still in quite a bit of pain when i'm mobile and i'm not sure if i should be.
So I'll have my first post op scan in a couple of weeks. After which I'll be visiting the cancer hospital every six weeks until further notice.. So i'll finally have some time to take stock of all this and really pick it apart and get my head around it. So far I've just been on the ride, holding on for dear life. My attitude and outlook constantly changing due to ever changing circumstances. I really need to have a long think about things, now that they have settled. When they said it was terminal, you can plan things and decide how to deal with it. Now I'm in a wee bit of a funny place, i don't know if I still have cancerous cells there and there's no way of finding out so it's just a waiting game. I know that there is really only one way of dealing with things and it has a lot to do with this:
Although there are some other things i need to work on, like my confidence which seems to have taken a dunt. Most importantly though, as I have no more planned treatment i'm just going to get better and make up for all the motherly and wifely duties i've been unable to take care of... Robin wont be a daddy's boy much longer :)