A few people suggested I start a blog after I was diagnosed. Mostly because it's a good way to vent and it means you can look back and see how far you've come and how things have improved. I Agree that writing your thoughts down is an excellent way to vent frustrations without moaning to loved ones, it's also a good way of putting order into your thoughts to help you think clearly when you're head seems to have too much flying around in it all at once!
However, I didn't see the point in a blog as I felt it was a personal thing to do and no one else need be concerned with it. Instead I bought a lovely little leather bound notebook and i've been keeping my notes in there.
Since then, I've realised why a blog is a good idea. Whilst searching for hope on the internet I came across a few blogs of people who have been battling synovial sarcomas. The positive attitude and courage in some of these people when facing what they have to face has inspired me and lifted my spirits so many times now. I always thought my story was a bit too doom and gloom to bring to anyone's attention as most people are looking for success stories. I feel now that with all the twists and turns, my story is worth telling as it might give others hope and strength to stay strong and carry on when the outlook is bleak!
I've just started what I think is the final stage of my treatment, hence the 'better late than never'.. So I shall summarise the whole escapade and see how it pans out.
Sunday 20 December 2015
A break.
So radiotherapy has stopped. I'm tired. I'm pleased my lump is a lot smaller. I'm also occasionally freaking out about my dwindling options and the thought of having to decide its time to just go with it. But mostly, I'm looking forward to doing my best to forget about cancer, lumps, dying and all that jazz for a few weeks over the christmas holidays. I'm heading up north to the Cairngorms with my family, my sisters family, my parents and my in laws to spend christmas in a big house together. I think this will be great for my son, to share christmas with his cousins and get all excited together like I did with my siblings. I feel bad he doesn't get to experience that being an only child. If cancer had never been a part of my life I reckon he'd have at least one brother or sister by now :) I guess if cancer hadn't been a part of my life I also wouldn't appreciate all the little things about our time together as much as I do now. No point on dwelling on these thoughts too much cause I do have cancer.. and I still have and have had a wonderful life.
It's been a good year despite having another lodger or two in my chest.. the breeding season left a lot to be desired but I ringed my first golden eagle and even a sea eagle!! I cycled the hebrides and raised over £8000 for sarcoma UK, I had the best holiday of my life in Iceland, A great holiday staying in a cave for two weeks on the isle of islay, flew in a helicopter round the scottish mountains, Robin had his first ever birthday party (today, total success/mayhem). His birthday and christmas is always a weird time for me, its when all this shit kicked off 5 years ago. 5 years ago yesterday I was told I had cancer. 5 years ago next thursday I found out it was terminal. 5 years ago tomorrow I met my son for the first time and from that moment on I had something beautiful to focus on throughout the tough times that lay ahead.
Here's a few snaps of Iceland..
It's been a good year despite having another lodger or two in my chest.. the breeding season left a lot to be desired but I ringed my first golden eagle and even a sea eagle!! I cycled the hebrides and raised over £8000 for sarcoma UK, I had the best holiday of my life in Iceland, A great holiday staying in a cave for two weeks on the isle of islay, flew in a helicopter round the scottish mountains, Robin had his first ever birthday party (today, total success/mayhem). His birthday and christmas is always a weird time for me, its when all this shit kicked off 5 years ago. 5 years ago yesterday I was told I had cancer. 5 years ago next thursday I found out it was terminal. 5 years ago tomorrow I met my son for the first time and from that moment on I had something beautiful to focus on throughout the tough times that lay ahead.
Here's a few snaps of Iceland..
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