A few people suggested I start a blog after I was diagnosed. Mostly because it's a good way to vent and it means you can look back and see how far you've come and how things have improved. I Agree that writing your thoughts down is an excellent way to vent frustrations without moaning to loved ones, it's also a good way of putting order into your thoughts to help you think clearly when you're head seems to have too much flying around in it all at once!
However, I didn't see the point in a blog as I felt it was a personal thing to do and no one else need be concerned with it. Instead I bought a lovely little leather bound notebook and i've been keeping my notes in there.
Since then, I've realised why a blog is a good idea. Whilst searching for hope on the internet I came across a few blogs of people who have been battling synovial sarcomas. The positive attitude and courage in some of these people when facing what they have to face has inspired me and lifted my spirits so many times now. I always thought my story was a bit too doom and gloom to bring to anyone's attention as most people are looking for success stories. I feel now that with all the twists and turns, my story is worth telling as it might give others hope and strength to stay strong and carry on when the outlook is bleak!
I've just started what I think is the final stage of my treatment, hence the 'better late than never'.. So I shall summarise the whole escapade and see how it pans out.
Tuesday 16 August 2011
The story so far.. March 2011
Chemo, feeling crap, chemo, feeling crapper, blood transfusion, Chemo.. BIRTHDAY PARTY! Good friends and good times.
The x ray I got after my last chemo in March played on my mind a lot as the tumour didn't look much smaller. My oncologist said it might slow down a little towards the end and it appears that's what's happening. It worries me a bit and I think about how long I'll have left again.. will it just start growing really fast again as soon as the chemo is done?? ARGH!
I get home for two days after this cycle and then wake up shivering like mad. I try to heat myself up by drinking hot water and I take some paracetamol. I really don't want to go back in after only two days at home with my boys. My temperature peaks at 39 and I know I need to go in :( Turns out I've got an infection in my hickman line, so I get some antibiotics and they monitor my temp which doesn't spike again..
The x ray I got after my last chemo in March played on my mind a lot as the tumour didn't look much smaller. My oncologist said it might slow down a little towards the end and it appears that's what's happening. It worries me a bit and I think about how long I'll have left again.. will it just start growing really fast again as soon as the chemo is done?? ARGH!
"It's better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles.
Then the victory is yours, it cannot be taken from you,
not by angels or daemons, heaven or hell."
I get home for two days after this cycle and then wake up shivering like mad. I try to heat myself up by drinking hot water and I take some paracetamol. I really don't want to go back in after only two days at home with my boys. My temperature peaks at 39 and I know I need to go in :( Turns out I've got an infection in my hickman line, so I get some antibiotics and they monitor my temp which doesn't spike again..
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