A few people suggested I start a blog after I was diagnosed. Mostly because it's a good way to vent and it means you can look back and see how far you've come and how things have improved. I Agree that writing your thoughts down is an excellent way to vent frustrations without moaning to loved ones, it's also a good way of putting order into your thoughts to help you think clearly when you're head seems to have too much flying around in it all at once!
However, I didn't see the point in a blog as I felt it was a personal thing to do and no one else need be concerned with it. Instead I bought a lovely little leather bound notebook and i've been keeping my notes in there.
Since then, I've realised why a blog is a good idea. Whilst searching for hope on the internet I came across a few blogs of people who have been battling synovial sarcomas. The positive attitude and courage in some of these people when facing what they have to face has inspired me and lifted my spirits so many times now. I always thought my story was a bit too doom and gloom to bring to anyone's attention as most people are looking for success stories. I feel now that with all the twists and turns, my story is worth telling as it might give others hope and strength to stay strong and carry on when the outlook is bleak!
I've just started what I think is the final stage of my treatment, hence the 'better late than never'.. So I shall summarise the whole escapade and see how it pans out.
Thursday 1 September 2011
The story so far.. June 2011
Followed by a couple of weeks at home feeling fine and being a proper mum :)
My friends from Lewis came to stay the night before I had to go into hospital for my operation which was great for taking my mind off it. The night I was in the hospital Mr Kirk came in and explained how he might just "open and close" and not be able to do anything. Or hr might be able to debulk it, but hopefully he'll be able to remove in completely, in which case he'll have to take my whole lung. I'm not sure why, but i'd convinced myself he was going to take it out and all we had to worry about was whether or not the margins were clear. So when he left I was upset and worried again.
The next morning everything happened really quickly and I woke up feeling like i'd been hit by a car. I asked if it was gone and the nurse said yes. I was really out of it and I vaguely remember hearing Davys voice. I told him I loved him, he said something about Robin and I smiled, then I threw up a few times and went back to sleep. Mr Kirk came in at some point and said he took all the visible tumour, my whole lung, my pleura and some of my diaphragm but that I got to keep all my ribs! He said he couldn't get the desired margin in two areas but the radiotherapy should take care of that - Once again, the best case scenario!
:)
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