A few people suggested I start a blog after I was diagnosed. Mostly because it's a good way to vent and it means you can look back and see how far you've come and how things have improved. I Agree that writing your thoughts down is an excellent way to vent frustrations without moaning to loved ones, it's also a good way of putting order into your thoughts to help you think clearly when you're head seems to have too much flying around in it all at once!
However, I didn't see the point in a blog as I felt it was a personal thing to do and no one else need be concerned with it. Instead I bought a lovely little leather bound notebook and i've been keeping my notes in there.
Since then, I've realised why a blog is a good idea. Whilst searching for hope on the internet I came across a few blogs of people who have been battling synovial sarcomas. The positive attitude and courage in some of these people when facing what they have to face has inspired me and lifted my spirits so many times now. I always thought my story was a bit too doom and gloom to bring to anyone's attention as most people are looking for success stories. I feel now that with all the twists and turns, my story is worth telling as it might give others hope and strength to stay strong and carry on when the outlook is bleak!
I've just started what I think is the final stage of my treatment, hence the 'better late than never'.. So I shall summarise the whole escapade and see how it pans out.
Tuesday 31 March 2015
Fundraising and the generosity of people make me happy.
So, we've decided that to raise some funds for Sarcoma UK we will get the whole Whyte clan (myself, Davy, Robin and even Beren the dog) to cycle the Hebridean Way. This will take us through the western isles from South Uist through Benbecula, North Uist, Harris and Lewis. I've always wanted to do some island hopping and we haven't yet planned a holiday for the family so it will get three birds with the one stone. It should be an amazing experience and will feel SO good to raise some cash for the future benefit or sarcoma patients. My just giving page is here if you can spare anything: https://www.justgiving.com/Michelle-Whyte1
I put it on my Facebook page this morning and I am totally overwhelmed by the response and money raised so far. Some from people i've never met. PEOPLE ARE AMAZING!
This is serving as a great distraction, the planning and training for the trip. I've stopped rubbing my back and thinking I can feel the lump return every five minutes which is good :) I have been on votrient for four weeks now, another two months and I'll get the scan to see if it's doing anything. I feel ok at the moment but i know the last couple of weeks are going to be pretty crazy.
I really want to make more of an effort to combat stress. When i'm stressed it comes out in various strange ways. I don't immediately realise that i'm stressed, so when tiny insignificant things start getting to me and I make a big deal out of nothing I am convinced it's not me in the wrong. It sucks cause it means those closest to me bare the brunt of it and that sucks. The people who mean most to me suffer most because I can't deal with being terminally ill. As if it affecting my life isn't enough. That's one thing I really hate about having cancer, the impact it has on people I love. I feel guilty about making other people sad. I wish I was a stronger person who dealt with things better. I keep telling myself it's not too late to change... and then not changing. Some of the things I want to try, to help me channel my energy, are; keeping a diary, meditation (i find this SO hard), more exercise, and more time being productive. I think I should aim for ONE of these things each day. So... we shall see..
:)
I put it on my Facebook page this morning and I am totally overwhelmed by the response and money raised so far. Some from people i've never met. PEOPLE ARE AMAZING!
This is serving as a great distraction, the planning and training for the trip. I've stopped rubbing my back and thinking I can feel the lump return every five minutes which is good :) I have been on votrient for four weeks now, another two months and I'll get the scan to see if it's doing anything. I feel ok at the moment but i know the last couple of weeks are going to be pretty crazy.
I really want to make more of an effort to combat stress. When i'm stressed it comes out in various strange ways. I don't immediately realise that i'm stressed, so when tiny insignificant things start getting to me and I make a big deal out of nothing I am convinced it's not me in the wrong. It sucks cause it means those closest to me bare the brunt of it and that sucks. The people who mean most to me suffer most because I can't deal with being terminally ill. As if it affecting my life isn't enough. That's one thing I really hate about having cancer, the impact it has on people I love. I feel guilty about making other people sad. I wish I was a stronger person who dealt with things better. I keep telling myself it's not too late to change... and then not changing. Some of the things I want to try, to help me channel my energy, are; keeping a diary, meditation (i find this SO hard), more exercise, and more time being productive. I think I should aim for ONE of these things each day. So... we shall see..
:)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Have just caught up...tears rolling down my face for you and yours. If you ever want to talk about harder stuff with someone who understands some of what you are facing Im here Michelle. Facebook me if thats easier.And yes people are amazing thats because you are seeing them through your eyes which are filling with love. xx
ReplyDelete